How to control your anger~JIFUNZE NAMNA YA KUSHINDA HASIRA YAKO

 

How can you start to control your anger instead of letting it control you?

SOMETHING ABOUT ANGER- Anger can be useful emotion when you need to protect yourself or someone important to you from danger or from being hurt. Anger should be a short reaction to some dangerous situation, but if you use it more than you need you will be controlled by it. In everyday life, anger is triggered by some trivial things. We can’t control the world around us, we need to accept that as it is. Most people don’t make a distinction between what they can or can’t control, and that is in most cases trigger for their anger.

WHAT CAUSING YOUR ANGER?- If we want to control or overcome anger, we need to find the root or cause of our anger. The first period is collecting data on this issue. Write a diary, and tack all situations in which you have an anger issue. This period should be long at least a month. That will reveal to you many situations or people that cause your anger. Also, you will find patterns of situations that lead you to behave angrily. This is important, because you will find the blind spots of your behavior, and you will be ready in certain situations to avoid them or behave more politely to control your anger.

EVERYDAY FIGHT WITH ANGER- You need to be aware that emotions are stronger than the mind, especially if you were losing control in some situations. When you find the sources of your anger and the situations that trigger it, you can predict situations in which you can be angry. When situations start to trigger your anger, start to breathe slowly and deeply, it is a small gesture but important to reduce the level of angriness. Also, try to relax your body, and avoid any tension in your body. This is one of the ways how you can reduce the intensity of your anger. The more you practice it, the better you will control your anger. Always analyze the situation which is triggered your anger, and ask yourself what could you do better, with this approach you will be better prepared for similar next situations.

PERSONALITY AND ANGER-Most people are too sensitive to trivial things, they want to control everything, but in reality, you can control just yourself. Also, some people have huge inner conflicts which they project to other people, and their personality is not developed and integrated, these are good elements of growing anger issues. You can’t solve anger issues if you didn’t end your inner civil war. Anger is triggered by behaviors or situations that can jeopardize something valuable to you, but in most cases, we have a false perception of reality, and we have some rights that we need to protect. Most cases of anger will be solved if we could make a distinction between things we can and can not control. If we learn to let it go, accept people as they are, and learn to forgive, we have a good opportunity to overcome our anger issues.

WHY MOST PEOPLE DON’T OVERCOME THEIR ANGER ISSUES?- Most people don’t understand their emotions, which is why you need to have a mentor that will learn you how to be aware, understand and control your anger. Also, without competence and knowledge, you don’t know what you need to do and how to prepare for anger. Help and support from friends and family are necessary, but you need to give yourself unconditional love and respect in the first place. There are many tools you need to use to overcome anger, a diary, active questions, tracking and monitoring of your anger, etc, are some of these which can help you a lot. Our main mission in life is to be independent and free, anger makes you dependent and imprisoned, why would you tolerate anger?

If you want to learn how to control your anger, contact me for coaching, mentoring, consulting, and counseling.